melsamei's Cancer Blog
September 17, 2007
| People are rude!!!! | Views: 11205 |
The only good thing I have received from cancer is a handicap parking tag. It expires in December 2007. Of course, I got my handicap tag during chemotherapy when I barely had enough energy to go grocery shopping. Now, I drive around with a pillow propped between myself and my seat belt. I still have a difficult time opening heavy doors.
Anyway, I went to J C Penney to purchase a sports bra. They are having a huge sale and I am finally expanded enough where I am too large for a camisole and need the support of a sports bra. I have tried many and because the expander shaped breasts are awkward, it is a difficult fit. So around 8 in the evening I decide to go to the store. The parking lot is pretty empty and there are approximately 10 empty handicap spots. I pull into one, exit the vehicle and head toward the store. A woman is staring at me. I nod politely and keep walking. She abruptly asks “Don’t you feel guilty?” and I replied “excuse me?” She repeats “It is terrible to see someone with the ability to walk use a handicap parking spot!” I was shocked. The anger and hatred in her expression was terrible. I answered with “I am sorry you feel that way but I am a recovering cancer patient and I am still recovering from a bilateral mastectomy.” She promptly walked away. I am still upset because her tone was so hateful. I came home and told my daughter. Her first reaction was “I wish I was there”. My little 10 year would be happy to give anyone a piece of her mind. Before cancer, I would have torn that woman to shreds. I never had a hard time with confrontation before. Are my hormones so out of balance that I can no longer defend myself? Or am I emotionally so out of sorts that an incident like this bothers me and in the past, I would have let it go? I don’t know. Anyway, I always tried to assist people before I had cancer and I still try to assist others as much as possible. It is a shame that people speak before they know someones situation.
05.04.08 - 
Thanks for your support -
Melissa, I’m so sorry that happened to you. She was way out of line. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You did the right thing by not stooping to her level. That would also make me mad and I can only imagine what you’re feeling.
Some people can be so rude. I think you handled it well. You didn’t lower yourself to her level. You have been faced with something that other people that have never been faced. LIFE
She is probably a person that that takes life for granite and you don’t.
Hi here is my 2 cents!
Some day they will be in the same condition and think back???????????? I should have been listing when she told me she had Cancer. You don’t have to be in a wheelchair or even in a walker. It is your right to use what ever parking place that you want.
Will that was more than a 2 cents LOL
Hug Sherri
That lady has some serious issues not you. You did the right thing. She probably felt guilty after it all sunk in on what happened. If not, some day she will understand. Unfortunately everyone is eventually effected by cancer some how.
I debated on replying to this post regarding everyone angry at the woman questioning you about parking in the handicapped space. There is another side to this story. I have had polio all but six months of my life. Until the handicapped parking stickers became available, I rarely went anywhere unless my family took me. I now have breast cancer and have had a mastectomy, lymph removal and lumpectomy on my opposite breast. None of which would affect me from walking if I hadn’t had polio. I think you all should think about that lady that spoke up…she may not have had the right to ask “don’t you feel guilty”. But I am very happy to hear when “able-bodied people” look out for those of us who can barely get around. There are ALOT of people that use unqualified medical problems to get handicapped stickers…that leaves those of us that trully need close parking spaces very little to choose from..and everyone else has an entire parking lot. So before you judge her rude, out of line, maybe she has a family member that has been through the frustration of not being able to get out an enjoy life because there are those that use their medical issues for reasons other than necessity.
I am all for watching out for the people that have the right to park in a handicap place but the lady should have at least said she was sorry. Instead she chose to walk a way. That’s the rude thing about it.
I had a women ask me why I was parking in the handicapped parking spot once. I told her that there are sooooo many ‘invisable’ illnesses that people suffer with that you cannot tell by looking on the outside whats going on in the inside. I then told her that I had stage 4 colon cancer and was on chemo therapy 21 days a month and really didnt have a lot of energy to spare and that I set priorites to where I put the little bit of energy that I do have. And, parking closer to the door which gives me that many more steps to do things is one of them. She thanked me for explaining and I thanked her for asking.
I’m sorry, I don’t think I could have handled that anywere near as well Mellisa. I would have given her the bird and walked off.Maybe handicap spots are in short supply were you live. Most every lot here in FL has 20 per. I’m permanently disabled say’s Social Security. That’s the tag I hate most about my cancer. I could not bring myself to get a parking sticker.